


I'm So Dirty, Babe

by domeafav0ur



Category: AM - Fandom, Alex Turner - Fandom, Miles Kane - Fandom, Milex - Fandom, TLSP
Genre: Arctic Monkeys - Freeform, F/M, Love, Romance, Secret jobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 17:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5752129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domeafav0ur/pseuds/domeafav0ur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex has a secret. Sarah isn't in on that yet. Miles is the ring leader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The kind of dirty where the water never clean off the clothes" 
> 
> Soooooo I got bored and decided to start something new. This is going to be a lot darker than all my other stories and a lot more gory in a way. I'll update tags as I go. Anyway, there's not going to much of an order, it'll go by important events in order to make it shorter. Let's begin.

I met him at a party. A small get together my friend Miles was hosting and by small, I mean a huge shindig. It was go big or go home with that one. He had invited his closest friends and I had brought along a coworker of mine to keep me company, yet she was off dancing with a blonde guy that seemed way too young to even be here and I was shifting from place to place to not look like I was bored. And I wasn't. I was enjoying watching everyone else. 

Making my way to the kitchen, I noticed a few remaining appetizers and desserts scattered on the marble counter in pretty silver trays, but a brownie caught my eye. Just as I reached for it, my fingers hit something warm and soft and it wasn't the brownie.

I frowned and looked at the perpetrator, a guy around my age with sort of greasy fringe hanging down the side of his very chiseled face. 

"I'm sorry, you can have it." An extremely low voice said. That voice just didn't match that small, slender body. 

"No, it's okay. You can have it." I said with a smile, though I actually did want it. I was starving and it was all I could find that would hold me off till I got home. 

He shook his head and pushed the tray towards me, "All yours."

I eyed him, "You sure?"

He nodded, and i noticed a smirk on his face. "You know what he puts in those right?"

My eyes fell towards the brownie, hoping it wasn't roofied or something. "What?"

"Massive quantities of weed. It's his specialty." He quietly said. 

I reached for a knife and cut the brownie in half, "in that case, let's split it." 

I pushed the tray back to him as he smiled at me, one of those warm inviting smiles. "Can't argue with that, thanks."

I nodded. "So how do you know these have weed?" I asked taking a bite of the chocolatey goodness. 

"I put it in them." He chuckled, taking a bite of his. 

"You made these?" I laughed. "How many have you had?" 

"None, this is my first one. Everyone got to them before I did and here you were trying to take my last one hostage."

"I deserved a pot brownie!" I declared, and finished mine in a jiffy. It almost made me feel self conscious because I'd finished mine and here he was, still eating his but smiling at me. 

He reached in to his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and motioned one towards me, which i took and thanked him as he handed me his lighter. 

Before I took the first drag I raised and eyebrow, "can we smoke in here?"

"Yeah, I do it all the time." He said, lighting up his cigarette and watching me take a drag. Something about his eyes made me feel like I already knew him. He had such a gentle demeanor. 

"You're a friend of Miles?"

"Right. He's my best friend. I spend every waking moment with that one. We work together and all." He laughed, taking a few more small bites from his brownie before returning to his cigarette. 

"Yeah, what do you guys do?" I asked, wanting to know more about this person in front of me. 

He shrugged but I noticed his muscles tense up. "You know, small jobs here and there." He took a drag from his cigarette and nodded in my direction. "How did you meet Miles?"

"Met him through one of my friends. We're not super close but we're friends, I guess." My voice lowering at the last part. 

"Well, I'm personally offended he's not mentioned someone as lovely as you." He placed the cigarette between his lips and reached over the table, "I'm Alex."

I took his hand with a smile, "Sarah. Nice to meet you." 

"Pleasure's all mine, love." 

And that warm smile enveloped me quickly. We spent the night talking about nothing, laughing our asses off and making inside jokes we would never remember. This was the first time I was having a good, non awkward conversation with anyone other than my coworkers. 

We had been in our own world for so long that people has started to vacate the place and I knew my time was up but I just couldn't force myself to leave him. I didn't want to. 

He pulled out his phone and then looked back up to me, "this may sound odd but would you like to get some food?"

"What's open?" I asked. 

He nodded. "I know just the place."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooow, it's taken me thirty years to update this. I keep starting fics and never finishing them. Anyway, here's this.

When Alex said anything, I never doubted it. When he said he loved me, he meant it. When he said Miles was his best friend, he meant it. When he said he murdered people for a living, he also meant it. 

7 months later: 

I've always known Alex's best friend was Miles and I always knew just how much they meant to each other but sometimes it just borderline creeped me out just how protective Miles was over Alex. We often went to dinners together, double dating and getting to know each other but Miles was always there, like Alex'a watch dog.

Miles eyed me in a particular way that made me uncomfortable but what could I do? 

"How long has it been now?" Miles asked, downing half of his beer in one huge gulp. 

Alex turned to me with a giddy smile, "About seven months, around there."

Miles nodded. "You make a beautiful couple, that's certain."

"Thank you, Miles." I said, and watched as his date leaned in to him, whispering in to his ear as he raised an eyebrow like she had said something very interesting. 

"We're going to have a smoke. We'll be right back." Miles excused himself as Alex squeezed my hand, pulling me in to him and giving me a light kiss. 

He and I were in a permanent honeymoon phase. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, we only appreciated and adored the fuck out of each other. He was the most amazing guy I'd ever met in my life and I didn't doubt a single word he said. He oozed honesty. 

"You look beautiful tonight. Well, everyday, really." 

I pressed my face in to his shoulder to hide the incoming blush. "Stop, oh my god."

He complimented me, kissed me, held me with the most respect. He was it for me. I was sure of it. 

"Alright, love birds. Me dates taken off so it's me third wheeling." Miles laughed, taking his seat again. "Who's up for another round of drinks?"

I raised my hand, "Always!"

"Alright, my type of girl!" He stood and went to get us some drinks as Alex turned to me with a smile. 

"What?" I asked. 

"I like you... A lot. And you get along with my best friend. What more could I ever ask for?"

"Ten million dollars?" I joked. 

He shook his head, "You're worth a lot more than that to me and you're all I need."

I bit my lip to stop the grin forming over my lips when Miles placed our drinks in front of us. 

"Drink up!" He shouted as we continued to drink and converse about everything and anything. Still, I felt like Miles was being fake nice to me but I brushed that off and continued to smile and pretend like nothing was wrong. I knew Alex would appreciate that. 

After a great date night out at the bar, Alex and I were in the elevator, where he had me pinned to the wall, gently kissing me. He pulled back and bit his lip nervously before I grabbed him by the back of the head, digging my fingers in to that thick hair of his and colliding my lips with his again. His hands very gently gripped on to my hips, his tongue warm on mine... 

...The ring of the elevator hitting our floor. 

His lips left mine again and he placed his forehead on mine, the top of his nose almost touching mine. Warm brown eyes smiled at me, "I love you, baby."

I tried to contain the smile that wanted to spread over my lips but failed miserably. "I love you."

He kissed me again and pulled me out of the elevator, leading me to the apartment where he struggled to open the door but finally got inside, pulling me in with him and closing the door behind him, always locking the doors completely. 

I went over to the couch and sat down, watching him remove his jacket and place it on the counter before sitting on the couch in front of me. 

"Love, I need to talk to you about something but I don't want to you...freak out."

I furrowed my brows and nodded. "What?"

"Well, we've been together for a while now and I just don't feel right lying to you about this. I need you to know exactly who you're with." 

I uncomfortably shifted in my seat, my heart racing. "You're scaring me."

"This may change your perception of me and if it does, I- I'm not sure how you'll react and I don't want you to not love me anymore-"

"What is it, Alex?" I cut him off, wanting him to cut to the chase. 

"You know how you asked me what I did for.. You know, work?"

I nodded. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I- uh- fuck," he watched me and something about the way he did was giving me chills. He knew all about body movements and he knew exactly what I was feeling right now. "I- I get paid to take out unwanted people."

Now I was confused. "You're an escort?" 

He almost laughed but quickly shook his head. "I take them out, like-" he slowly ran his finger across his throat and I instantly understood what he was saying. 

I shook my head as fear set in. "Tell me you're kidding."

He shook his head, "I'm not, baby."

"You've had 8 months to tell me this, you could've said it when we met but you're just now telling me you're a fucking certified assassin?" I yelled, standing to my feet and backing away from him, tears filling my eyes and my heart feeling like it had been smashed in to pieces. 

"You wouldn't have given me the time of day. You wouldn't have loved me." He said, coming towards me. 

"Please, no. Stay there." I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Alex wasn't as innocent as he seemed. His gentle hands had killed people, had been covered in blood. Those once blood stained hands had touched me. I was sick to my stomach. 

"Don't be afraid, I'm not and will not ever hurt you."

"But you hurt other people?" I cried, backing myself in to the wall next to the door. If I needed out, it would be easier. 

"It's my job, love. I can't do anything about it. I won't hurt you, I promise. Please believe me."

I eyed him as he kissed my cheek, wiping at my tears with his thumbs. "What I do outside of my home does not come back with me." 

I didn't know what to say, I wasn't sure how I felt. 

"Have you ever felt like I would lay a hand on you?"

I shook my head. 

"I'm not asking you to be immediately okay with this. I just wanted you to know." 

"Okay." I quietly said, not wanting to look him in the eye but he slowly tipped my chin up, kissing the tip of my nose. 

"Say something?"

I sniffled and held his hand, my fingertips feeling his warmth. "I need to go home."

He pulled back, defeated, but nodded. "Alright, I'll drive you."

"No, no. It's okay. I need the walk." I grabbed my bag off the couch and headed towards the door when I heard him say, "I love you."

I couldn't bring myself to answer him. I just walked right out that door and felt my heart break. How would I figure this out? Should I make a list? Pros and cons of Alex. No, that didn't seem right. 

As I made my way down the street, I lit up a cigarette and sat down on a bench, taking a drag and watching the fluffy white clouds move slowly across the dark sky. 

I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that my perfect boyfriend was a murderer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's literally been a YEAR since I updated this.

Call me crazy, but I went back. I loved Alex and there was nothing I could do to stop that. He was more than just my boyfriend, he felt like the love of my life and sure, he may kill people for a living but he'd never hurt me.

Or at least I hoped he didn't. 

But living with the guilt and fear of knowing this is what he did was unbearable most days. I wondered if he killed women and children and elderly men... but all he said was that he would never kill children. That didn't exactly put me at ease. 

Not long after, he asked me to move in with him in to an extremely luxurious home and at first I wondered how he could afford this and not want my help financially but then it all came together: the death of one person could bring in thousands of dollars a night. 

And because this was what he did, he had the most upscale security system installed to keep me and himself safe at all times. I guessed it was because each murderer had competition, and if people found out where he lived, it would be beyond dangerous for us. 

At first, I waited every night on the couch closest to the door for him to come home so I could make sure he was okay. But soon after I would fall asleep and barely recall him getting home and crawling in to bed. How i wished this wasn't so normal for me. How i wish I didn't think killing people was normal. 

Lately, the requests of his clients had increased and i hardly saw him. He was traveling all over the place, but he always made sure I had security guards outside of our home that followed me everywhere I went. I wish he had security guards with him. I wished he would quit his job.

On one of those nights he was away I happened to be   
home alone, about to wash off my face when I saw the worst thing I could've ever seen in my entire life. 

A spider. A huge spider and I was terrified of it. 

I grabbed hairspray for the lack of an actual bug killer and began to spray away at it, as it crawled across the floor and near my bear feet. I screamed and jumped on top of the edge of the tub and sprayed it some more until it stopped moving and shriveled up. 

I stared at the dead spider and suddenly every emotion I had been holding in released and I sank down to the ground crying like someone had died. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Alex. 

"Hey, baby" he sweetly said as I sobbed in to the phone. 

"Sarah, are you okay?" His voice instantly changed in to a much more seriously concerned voice. "Are the security guards there?"

I nodded and finally managed to say, "please come home" 

"Sarah, please tell me you're okay." He begged. 

"I'm fine, I'm just-" I stopped and swallowed hard trying to calm down, "There was a spider and you know I'm afraid of them and that's why boyfriends exist, to kill creepy bugs but you're not here and I don't know what to do-"

He sighed on the other end of the phone, "I knew you weren't okay with me leaving. Fuck!" He shouted and I heard a loud noise of some sort. "I would come home to you in this exact moment, baby, you know I would. But I can't, I have to stay and finish the job." The "job" because we weren't allowed to speak of his work. Phones could be tapped. 

"How much longer?" 

"It could be today, or tomorrow. I don't know-"

"No, how much longer are you going to do this?" I asked, drying my eyes with the back of my hand. 

There was a silence, "i don't know". 

But that wasn't the answer I wanted. "Goodnight, Alex."

"No, Sarah. Ple-"

I ended the call, gathered myself and went to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

His torso was covered in blood as well as Miles hands and shirt. Alex had tears in his eyes, holding his side, breathing heavily as Miles brought him in to the living room, sitting him down on the couch. 

"Alex, what-?"

He looked at me and weakly smiled. "It's alreyt, love."

"What happened?" I frantically asked. 

Miles turned to me, his eyes alarmed. "Get some towels and alcohol, please?"

I stared at him, almost not processing what he had said. 

"Go" he urged, his voice a little louder than before. 

I nodded and headed towards the bathroom closet to get towels and the alcohol. Quickly taking it back to Miles and stepping back, watching how Miles poured the liquid in to a small towel. 

"Alex?"

He reached out for my hand and gave it a light squeeze. He was pale, sweating. None of this was right. "Don't worry, love." 

"What happened?" i asked again. 

"Nowt to worry about, just a scratch." He slowly pulled me into him and kissed my hand. "Can you wait for me in the bedroom?"

I began to shake my head.

"I don't want you to see this, alright?"

"I thought it was just a scratch?"

He sighed, "Just go, baby, please."

I nodded and slowly pulled away, heading towards the bedroom and closing the door. I sat on the edge of the bed and noticed just how fast my heart was beating out of my chest and how much my hands were trembling. I was terrified and pissed that no one was telling me what was going on. A million things crossed my mind and the silence of it all was driving me insane. 

My eyes darted to the digital clock on the night stand, forty three minutes had gone by. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and watched the door. God, I was so tired of this feeling of never knowing what was going on and always worrying for his safety. I was sick of it. 

Another half hour went by and finally Alex walked in to the bedroom, closing the door behind him which made me think Miles had probably gone home. He came up to me and held my face gently as he very carefully leaned down and kissed me. 

"I love you" he whispered, his fingers caressing at my cheek. 

I couldn't take my eyes off him and as much as I wanted to speak, nothing came out. I needed answers.

"You don't love me?" He asked, his eyes glassing over. 

"I can't do this anymore." I said barely above a whisper but he caught on.

"What, why?"

I sniffled, "You never tell me what's going on. You show up, bloody and almost passed out and all you two can tell me is "get some towels"?" 

He sat next to me and held my hand, "I'm sorry."

"Can't you just stop?" I sobbed, my eyes darting to his bloody shirt then back to his eyes.

He slowly shook his head. "I can't." 

"Why?"

"I- I can't just leave Miles and I wouldn't be able to pay for everything we have. I wouldn't be able to take care of you."

I pulled away like he has stung me and stood to my feet. "I don't care about all that, Al. I just want you by my side and i want you safe."

"I am safe!" he shouted. 

"What about next time? What if next time I lose you?" 

"That won't happen."

"Can you promise me that?" I asked, but I knew the answer by his silence. 

"I'll sleep on the couch." I stood about to grab my pillow when he grabbed my hand and kissed the top of it. 

"I'll go."

He slowly, with some obvious trouble walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. I got in to bed and snuggled up with the blankets, closing my eyes and falling asleep quicker than I'd expected. But it didn't last long. 

I woke up in a cold sweat over a nightmare of Alex being cut to pieces. I sat up and finally couldn't fight all the emotions I'd bottled up. I cried in to my hands, my body trembling and the need for air becoming greater. I stood and quietly walked in to the living room where Alex lay on the couch. 

I wasn't sure if he was asleep until he reached out for my hand and pulled me down next to him, pressing kisses all around my face. "I love you and I know I keep saying that but I really do. I love you more than anything." He sniffled. "I know I told you that I would always take care of you but that's not what I'm doing and it's not fair but i need you to understand that I can't stop. Not now."

"Then when? When the cops bring your dead body to me?" I asked, just not understanding how his brain was perceiving this job of his.

"Just give me some time, alreyt? I'll sort it out."

And we left it at that. 

For a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](b-b-bang-g0.tumblr.com)!


End file.
